My bits have a healthy ego.

I blame feminism for giving us the proverbial cock and balls to enjoy multiple orgasms from multiple partners. In a massive oversight, it failed to remove oestrogen from the equation. And now there’s a new generation of strong independent highly sexed and equally highly strung women with little means to deal with the emotional backlash [...]

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America! Fuck yeah!

Reasons why America will not grant me a visa:
1. I hate Hallmark. Makes me want to starve myself and smoke cigarettes around babies and snort coke with your grandma.
Stupid cards with bunnies saying “40 years young” and pathetic little quips about how much your colleagues will miss you now that you’ve quit. Hate to tell [...]

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I was in special ed at school.

caroline: air matress fuck is the worst. i roll off onto the floor and then it gets funny.
edith: i fall off and hit my head or slide off the mattress onto the edge of the bed frame. sex is very dangerous. like cheerleading. it’s misleading!
caroline: i know. it is. my dad [...]

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My boss has been looking at my ass . . . my mother said it’s sexual harassment.

Did you ever notice the word ‘ass’ is in ‘harass’? Coincident? I think not!
A while ago Caroline asked for my help in preparing for her first review at her new job. Oddly enough, her boss had sent her a list of questions, akin to a junior high school report. The questions from aforementioned boss are [...]

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happy midterms.

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HR knows you have herpes

for lack of agreement as to what we should post first, the email below will have to suffice.
caroline received it at work the other day.
it seems HR knows she’s on methadone. i wonder whether they know it’s interacting with other drugs she’s taking. like heroin.

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