I’m in a particularly happy, sweet, sharing mood today, and before I inevitably get around to ruining this marshmallow cloud, here’s some happy stuff I love and rarely talk about because I fear it humanises me:
photo credit: Rupert Singleton
1. The beanie Schmoo’s mama gave me that is pure wool and sourced from a sheep named Edie. It even came with a tag and a picture of her, pre-shearing. We look nothing alike, but she sure does keep me warm.
2. One-litre Mount Franklin water bottles. It really is the perfect size and has a very aesthetically pleasing shape. I know reusing these kinds of plastic bottles may lead to such plastics leaking oestrogen, but hell, these boobs of mine need all the help they can get, toxins be damned.
3. Full cream milk. Pure, full fat, full cream, delicious milk. Anything else is a very very poor imitation. At just under 4% fat, it’s really not all that much fat for a hell of a lot more taste. Given that I mostly have it in tea (earl grey, with honey, try it and be converted) and maybe with muesli, I don’t see the point in substituting skinny lo fat extra special bone juju calcium boosting imitation vitamin rich digestible easy pour brain grow watered down bean fluid when I can have the goodness of full, rich, creamy, tasty full cream milk. That is all I have to say about that.
4. Oats, not simply because they’re tasty, but they’re so versatile! They’re great to eat with yoghurt and brown sugar and perfect warm up winter porridge. They can also be added to biscuits and slice to enhance texture and flavour and whenever you consume oats you feel like you’re doing your body good; regardless of how much sugar you add it will never cancel out the health benefits – a scientific fact courtesy of the University of My Ass, and you can take that to the bank. Also, according Jane Austen, delicately stitched small muslin bags filled with oats and used as a gentle body cleanser will make your skin soft, white, pure and delectable, and thus make you tempting bait to any passing roguish Lord, Earl, or Colin Firth. Miracle stuff, oats, ain’t they just?
5. Bed. It goes without saying that beds are awesome because sleep is awesome. And there’s all the sex stuff too. But! Just like oats, beds are so versatile. Apart from sleeping and the other kink, my favourite part of beds are blankets. There’s something comfortably satisfying about sitting in bed, all rugged up, warm blankets, writing about how much you love beds. (And yes, just like oats, if you use them while naked, you’ll probably lure in as many, possibly more, roguish Lords and Earls, but Hugh Grant is more likely to come calling than Colin Firth, you dirty bitch.)
6. Sun Patches. Glorious morning sun that makes you all warm and fuzzy when you wake up and lets you gently drift off back to sleep until midday wrapped in a cocoon of vitamin D. Late afternoon sunshine that peeps in and creates a perfect space to curl up with a book and have a nap. I think I have major cat jealousy. I need to get one, stat , so I can live my sunshine dreams vicariously through it.
7. Cats are sofa king awesome.
Aaaaaaand now I’m going to stop abruptly because all this happiness and loving is suddenly disturbing me. I think I also need to stop watching daytime television; the advertising and relentless cheerfulness is clearly having a positive effect on my general state of ennui. This can only lead down a perilous path that may result in appreciating musicals, and that’s dangerous shit to play around with. Um yeah, this is awkward.
