Pope Benedict looks like the devil. Those dark circles under his eyes, the hunchback posture, the aging face and yet suspiciously lustrous hair. There’s something not right going on there, and that’s not just because he’s a geriatric virgin dropping hell bombs on condoms. But! Now that I’ve brought that up, shall we consider his latest words of questionable wisdom?
It’s fair to say that no one really likes condoms. They smell odd, ruin the mood and don’t add to sexual pleasure (don’t believe the hype, they are not ribbed for her pleasure). The majority of sane people realise the necessity of these rubber fiends and you understand that the payoffs of not leaving them by the roadside are manifold – inclusive of not getting AIDS, various creepy and visually horrifying STDs and/or babies. Sex and condoms go together like single use hypodermic needles and alcohol swabs: any rational person has a stack of them and disposes of them responsibly after use.
The Pope, needless to say, is not a sane nor rational person. Sex is a natural and fulfilling part of life and, more often than not, it’s really awesomely fun. The Pope does not have sex, never has and never will (still to be determined whether the Pope has fun, ever has or ever will). And yet despite a dire lack of qualifications in the area, physical or educational, he insists that he knows what’s best in the boudoir, and it’s not what I learnt was “safe sex” back in school. The implications of his publicised opinions are, for the most part, fairly irrelevant in most of our lives. We have the privilege of being able to ignore this aging insanity because we have access to reasonable sex education and bawdy bar gossip. To us, he’s just another crazy old man in a dress with too much money, hair and a bitter heart. But for those who lack access to what we freely acquire and take for granted, his ill-formed opinion in regards to the use of condoms has really fucked up consequences. How anyone can call themselves a good person and spout such sauce as opposing the use of condoms to stop the spread of AIDS is far beyond my mental capacity for understanding.
So, what did Pope Benedict suggest as an alternative to help stop the spread of AIDS during his current tour of Africa, a continent that is home to two thirds of the world’s AIDS infected population? Heterosexual marriage, marital fidelity, blah blah oh wait, wha? Really? “Spiritual and human awakening” and “friendship for those who suffer”?! Woweee. That’s new and so very helpful. Hmmm, I know that friendship would be a far more soothing balm for the soul when I get AIDS (which I assume I will because, according to some, I’m a slut slut renegade) than actual drugs that could help me live a longer, more productive existence. Then again, with the drug companies so concerned with stuffing the ailing global economy up their butts instead of providing reasonably priced medicine to those in need, perhaps a bit of friendship might be nice. We could have a cup of tea and politely ignore the massive lesion on my face. Cucumber sandwiches? Oooh! Don’t mind if I do!
That “the Church takes a particular interest in those who are most deprived” seems sick to me. To give aid that is tainted with religious doctrine and dogma that is hazardous to the health of millions is just wrong. Especially when you know full well that those you are targeting have little to no access to other forms of sexual information and education. Condemning generations to a fatal disease because an old, old man has a whacked out sensibility of life is selfish, reckless and evil. Believing in God, Jesus or smelly churches with great architecture does not mean that you cannot use condoms, or promote the use of them. Irrefutable evidence shows that using condoms prevents the spread of AIDS (and babies). In the 21st century, why are we still allowing a fable (albeit a very long and twisted one) advocated by a socially closeted individual dictate how we provide aid to those in need or, at an even baser level, how we live our own lives?
I suppose I could be thankful that religious charities are thinking of the children, hopefully in a non-sexual way. Then again, I could just be truthful and admit that Pope Benedict is a bad bad man. I’ll think stick to the latter.
BBC News: Pope’s condom stance sparks row
Reuters: Vatican defends pope’s stance on condoms as criticism mounts
In an aside, when did AIDS, the acronym for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, become Aids (looking pointedly at you, BBC)?
that was the worst f***ing crap post ive seen in my life you shit face!!! only f***ing b**tard of retards would look at this shiting crap bitchy post! who cares about popes! they r weird. sorry 4 any inconvinience. not!
spelling and grammar, fuckface.
or should that be f**kface? I wouldn’t want to offend you with unladylike swearing…
NOT!
Only illegitimate children of dubious mental ability will ever read this post, according to f***er.