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Archive for March, 2009

Pope Benedict looks like the devil. Those dark circles under his eyes, the hunchback posture, the aging face and yet suspiciously lustrous hair. There’s something not right going on there, and that’s not just because he’s a geriatric virgin dropping hell bombs on condoms. But! Now that I’ve brought that up, shall we consider his latest words of questionable wisdom?

It’s fair to say that no one really likes condoms. They smell odd, ruin the mood and don’t add to sexual pleasure (don’t believe the hype, they are not ribbed for her pleasure). The majority of sane people realise the necessity of these rubber fiends and you understand that the payoffs of not leaving them by the roadside are manifold – inclusive of not getting AIDS, various creepy and visually horrifying STDs and/or babies. Sex and condoms go together like single use hypodermic needles and alcohol swabs: any rational person has a stack of them and disposes of them responsibly after use. (more…)

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You! Suck!

I’ve often considered suing Channel 7 News because of false advertising. Whatever they’re presenting, it definitely doesn’t appear to fit into even the most lax definitions of “news”. For ten minutes, it jumps from idiotic subject to even dafter report covering such pertinent topics as roundabouts harming possums, the epidemic of old people dying from old age, there’s no! more! water!, the government stalling on regulating bike helmets that eat hair and won’t someone please think of the (white) children! After that, they pay some lip service to bombs, guns, tragedy in the middle east, Obama being black and then a heart warming snippet on a cat nursing piglets on a farm in England. After that it’s sport sport sport and the weather proclaims that it may rain but it’s probably sunshine because we live in the “Lucky Country”. It’s a pathetic excuse for news and right after, Today Tonight gets going with their exclusive reports on cracks in the pavement and chasing ethnics down the street. Considering most Australians get their news from free-to-air television, the Channel 7 News is doing a great disservice to all citizens of this country.

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